Three countries in one day

My Grandmother, God rest her soul,  would have called me plain crazy. In an effort to save money, I spent Thursday 10 February in London Heathrow, Copenhagen and Frankfurt.  My heels barely touched the ground in either country and my planes home were, of course, delayed.  Knackered didn't cover it.  I had thirty minutes peace laying on the insemination couch for my required 'chill-out' time, but apart from that it was an 18 hour day of rushing and pure exhaustion.

I had lots to worry about when I called the clinic and left an answerphone message on the evening of the 9th.  Would they get the message, would they book me a slot, would there actually be a slot after I paid for my ridiculously expensive flights?  I arrived at Heathrow at 8am and called the clinic, 9am their time.  No need to worry. They'd booked me a slot exactly one hour after I landed to ensure I could make the appointment and in case of minor delays.  Panic over.  The problem with doing this overseas is that if you are more than 70 minutes late for your slot, the washed sperm sample is useless and you still have to pay for it.  Nightmare.  Still Scandinavian Airlines has punctuality as its strapline and they weren't wrong.  I can only imagine if I had used BA -late, delayed, cancelled. I arrived with time for an earl grey tea and a healthy sandwich in my favourite little Baresso coffee shop, at the end of the clinic's street.  A deep breath in and a smile on my face, off I went for round 2.

This time it was quite uncomfortable, but not exactly painful.  I had a different midwife, but she was just as nice and encouraging as the last one.  They take their time with you and create a mood of relaxation.  I worried it would be like the dreaded smear test, which I absolutely hate, but it's nothing like that.  That is Hell, this is ok.  She didn't rubbish my feelings about how I thought I might have conceived last time and she was supportive about how to manage the two weeks wait.  We talked about hormone treatment versus natural cycle and agreed that for me, with my stats, natural is still the best way forward for the first few times.

Once cocooned on my Lufthansa flight to Germany (delayed) I felt a bit sore and crampy, but otherwise fine.  I was delighted to get a free snack and drink, meaning no need to change money to stop starvation in Frankfurt.  It occurred to me as I caught flight number 3 back to London (delayed), that I was less excitable and calmer than last time.  As always, my thoughts turned to my previous partner and how much I miss him.  He is now in love with someone else, a girl 13 years younger than both of us.  It hurts terribly when I realise that he will have a family with her, naturally and with ease, especially as we lost our baby.  I do torture myself with this daily, but this is my path now and I can only move forward.  When I'm tired and a bit emotional this is very hard to do, but in true British style I have a nice cup of tea and think of  a gorgeous little baby in my arms, half Danish, half Scottish.  Hope is a wonderful drug.