The two week wait

I thought I'd get a bit scientific this time and sort of 'chart my symptoms' a bit more.  That will help my mental state, right enough.  I started off feeling the progesterone plummet only 3 days after insemination (3dpiui as those in the know call it). I got mightily pissed off.  I couldn't believe my body was doing this already, and when I was taking progesterone. About 5dpiui, however, that subsided to be replaced by nausea, a poking cramp in my abdomen and headaches that were verging on migraine.  They were terrible and lasted until 10dpiui.  I felt knackered too.  I started thinking that maybe, just maybe, things had turned around.  I recognised all of these symptoms from the last 2 pregnancies.  And then I dashed my own hopes because I also recognised these symptoms from the hundreds of forums I'd read about progesterone mimicking pregnancy symptoms.

I will confess that on CD21, or 11dpiui, I got so annoyed at these swinging symptoms that I just wanted it over and my period to hurry up.  So I took an htp/POAS/pregnancy test.  Of course it was negative so early, until I looked a bit closer and an extremely faint pinkish line could be seen.  I mean, if you held it up to the light it could be seen.  Not that I'm obsessing or anything. So that got my hopes up, although my negative voice was screaming 'its an evaporation line, you muppet.'   However, it didn't leave me any better off really.  I had one day of thinking I might be pregnant, I really might, and then I came home from work yesterday to feel the onset of cramps akin to period pains and horrid dull aches in my left ovary.  Back to square one.  Sore boobs getting more painful by the day, with veins like a road map?  Yes.  Lower back pain?  Yes.  Cramps? Yes.  Peeing frequently?  And so it goes.  I am driving myself absolutely mental, as no doubt you are too if you're up to the same thing.  Of course, all of the above are also signs of an impending red guest, as we know.  I find myself feeling that inner excitement one minute, but after every cramp I feel devastated because I know it's pms.

This is rubbish.  But...I am not going to test again until Sunday, which will be exactly 16 days after my IUI.  My period is actually due on Monday 17th, but no doubt because of the progesterone it won't come until I test negative and stop taking the drug. Oh the joy.  Every one around me is having a normal life (well it appears that way) while I'm waging a schizophrenic vocal battle in my head.  I need to keep remembering that there are no conclusions about symptoms, you just have to wait.  I should write this out, like lines.  You just have to wait...