So, arriving in Copenhagen without a sense of humour because I had to deal with Stansted at 5am, I find myself dive bombing into serious bad temper. It's 28 degrees and I'm wearing a jumper. To make matters worse that's all I have to wear so that I don't have to pay for luggage on the budget airline. Not happy. I make my way on the 5A to Lytgen and make it 30 minutes earlier than my appointment. I calm down once in the cool of the clinic and its clean design.
Dr. Svend appears to give me an ultrasound and confirms that one of my follicles has popped and the other is about to go. Based on this, he says, I should be inseminated in 30 minutes after a shot of Ovitrelle (an extra 350 DKK or £38) to ensure the second one pops too. I'm relieved. As I'm whipping my trousers back on to wait while they do whatever it is they do to the sperm, Dr S says he's very impressed with the quality of my ultrasound report from the London Ultrasound Centre. 'I should think so', I replied, 'it cost £120 - practically half the cost of an insemination' 'You didn't get it on the NHS?', he queries. 'Er...no.' Where to start? If I explain why that wouldn't be possible, I might start ranting about being over 40, female, single and British. And I'm wearing a jumper in 28 degrees. So I don't.
After a 30 minute wait Dr Jan ushers me into a suite. He's my favourite. He's a very friendly, avuncular sort who doesn't make me feel like a muppet asking all the questions I usually bombard him with. He greets me and then asks me if I'm happy with blond and blue as requested. 182cm this time. I say yes and sign on the dotted line and up on the couch I go. Not for the first time I consider just how truly bizarre this is. A couple of minutes later it's done and off I go to enjoy the sweltering heat of Copenhagen, with a 'good luck' and 'take two progesterone suppositories per day from now on' ringing in my ears.
I got so bad tempered in the heat that I caved and bought some cheap clothes from H&M so that I could actually enjoy a bit of sightseeing. After a spin around Nyhaven harbour, the shops and the castle grounds I made for my hotel in Orestad. This time I chose Cabinn Metro and I wish I hadn't. It really wasn't up to the standards of Wakeup and it was located a metro ride away, by a huge shopping centre and nothing much else. It was, however, only 485 DKK or £58.
The next day I sat by the river for ages in the heat and pondered my lot, whilst feeling yucky about the ooze that comes from using suppositories. I considered the fact that, if this round doesn't work, I have just two more shots (self imposed end - emotionally need to draw a line and well in to my 44th year). As if to cheer me up a crazy man on an adapted cycle, complete with sound deck and sound system, cycled past pumping sounds and whooping. Everyone sitting on the wall and by the river whooped and joined in, including me. I hope it was a good omen.
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