It's been a difficult week for us Londoners, thanks to the rioters and looters that rampaged the city. I live slap, bang in between two of the worst affected areas in a zone untouched. My thoughts on it all probably have no place here...best kept for another medium. All I will say is that, as an ex inner city teacher and Assistant Principal who worked in gang ridden areas, I am not surprised, but shocked. Do I really want to have a child in London? It could be like living in a war zone. Mad Max (crazy movie starring Mel Gibson and some truly terrible clothes) is not so far off, by all accounts.
Anyhow, against the back drop of a world gone completely mad I was beginning to give up hope of ovulating this month. In any other context that comment would seem completely off the wall. However, I'm sure any of you charting whilst trying to conceive will know what I'm talking about. Having returned quite unexpectedly to a 24 day cycle last time, I began testing on Day 6, expecting a surge on Day 9-10. As each day passed I started to think that I'd hit the 'do not pass go' barrier and I'd stopped ovulating. On Day 12 though I finally I got my LH surge. I'm thinking, what the hell is going on here? How can I have a surge on Day 12 if I only have a 24 day cycle? Perhaps my body is just taking its time to return to some sort of normality after my second miscarriage in May this year. (I keep wondering if the stress of waiting for breast cancer results in March and the double biopsy in April was partly responsible.) God knows, but now I feel like I'm playing Russian Roulette every time I do a test for ovulation. It remains to be seen whether or not everything is stabilised by the Clomid. One would hope. So, one more cycle before I try it.
One piece of interesting news I did have was from the clinic in Southampton, Complete Fertility Centre. The women I spoke to took my case and fertility stats to a daily discussion with the gynaecologists and the view of the doctors was that they would treat me even though I am about to be over 43. All I had to do was ask my GP to refer me as a private patient and we could get cracking straight away. I was really encouraged by that, to be honest. The clinic does sound good and it would be less stressful. However, I feel happy enough getting a follicular scan at a clinic here when I start the medicated cycle and then flying out to Copenhagen, so I'm not going to take it up. I have researched the success rates and Copenhagen Fertility Centre still wins. It's not so much gloom and doom over there for women over 40 either. However, I have been really impressed with Complete Fertility Centre and it is affordable at £900 a pop after the initial tests. For someone on an average wage it's possible to do this once very 2 months. As I said last time, I would definitely consider it if I was under 43. It's the cheapest I've found in the whole of the UK. If anyone can better it, let me know...
Copenhagen January 2011
A cold November in Copenhagen...
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Finally some answers
My GP referred me to another GP within the practice. No further forward as she's away for another two weeks. However, I rang the clinic in Denmark and they arranged for me to talk to Dr. Jan again. Relief. He discussed the Clomid according to my personal requirements, confirming 1 x 50mg a day from day 3-7. He then advised progesterone after IUI because my cycle is short, and if Clomid delays my ovulation, the luteal phase won't be long enough. 2 x 400mg pessaries for 15 days to start with. Again relief. This what I want. Facts and figures - how much, when and for how long. I explained I'd been spotting a lot the last few months up to 5 days before my period and he agreed it's not quite right. Probably a corpus luteal defect (sounds like something legal) and even though it's only recently been a problem it's not a great sign. I think, being honest, I'm just heading into menopause quicker than I thought. I think back and I realise that as soon as my cycles dropped to 24 days, as opposed to the 26-28 days I've had all my life, I started getting that weird low blood sugar feeling, nausea and shivers before my period. It all makes sense now.
Dr. Jan suggested that I get a follicular scan on Day 8-9 in London to check the follicle size and potential ovulation, which will then help me figure out when to fly over to Copenhagen. All I have to do is then call CFC (Copenhagen Fertility Centre) with the results and they will advise me when to go. This cuts down the stress of worrying about exactly when my follciles are big enough before, during or after I get a positive ovulation test and how many days I will have to go to Denmark for -1 or 2. CFC will rescan me when I get there, before we go any further, and determine if I need Ovitrelle or not to 'pop' them or if I should do the IUI a day later. I've got the The London Ultrasound Centre and The Birth Company on speed dial. Here are the links. For £120, they scan, provide a report immediately, send any info you want to the clinic of your choice and require no referral.
http://www.thelondonultrasoundcentre.co.uk/follicle-tracking-scan/
http://www.thebirthcompany.co.uk/
It may be £120 per scan, but even if I add that to the IUI price at Copenhagen Fertility Centre it's still only a total of £400 per cycle, including the donor sperm. No clinic in the UK can match that for the procedure and the sperm. Even when I add on flights. Although, I've just found out about a great new clinic in Southampton called Complete Fertility Centre which is linked to the NHS. It's only been on the go since January 2010, but...it's only £900 per cycle including sperm! Compare that to the whopping £1800-2000 per cycle in London clinics. Unfortunately for me, they won't treat women over 43. What a shame! Here's the link though, because if I was of a treatable age, I would definitely do it, just for the ease of staying in the UK and having start to finish fertility care. I only wish I'd found out about it sooner.
http://www.completefertility.co.uk/index.php
I realise, sadly, that I really, really am nearing the end of my time, but at least I feel less stressed now with my last 2-3 goes. I know what to do and that's half the battle. In mental preparation for a potentially childless future I've bought a book called 'Beyond Childlessness'. It's really helpful actually. I need to prepare. I don't want to crumble into a heap and end up with 40 house cats and a slum for a house. Let that not happen to me. Repeat, let that not happen to me.
Dr. Jan suggested that I get a follicular scan on Day 8-9 in London to check the follicle size and potential ovulation, which will then help me figure out when to fly over to Copenhagen. All I have to do is then call CFC (Copenhagen Fertility Centre) with the results and they will advise me when to go. This cuts down the stress of worrying about exactly when my follciles are big enough before, during or after I get a positive ovulation test and how many days I will have to go to Denmark for -1 or 2. CFC will rescan me when I get there, before we go any further, and determine if I need Ovitrelle or not to 'pop' them or if I should do the IUI a day later. I've got the The London Ultrasound Centre and The Birth Company on speed dial. Here are the links. For £120, they scan, provide a report immediately, send any info you want to the clinic of your choice and require no referral.
http://www.thelondonultrasoundcentre.co.uk/follicle-tracking-scan/
http://www.thebirthcompany.co.uk/
It may be £120 per scan, but even if I add that to the IUI price at Copenhagen Fertility Centre it's still only a total of £400 per cycle, including the donor sperm. No clinic in the UK can match that for the procedure and the sperm. Even when I add on flights. Although, I've just found out about a great new clinic in Southampton called Complete Fertility Centre which is linked to the NHS. It's only been on the go since January 2010, but...it's only £900 per cycle including sperm! Compare that to the whopping £1800-2000 per cycle in London clinics. Unfortunately for me, they won't treat women over 43. What a shame! Here's the link though, because if I was of a treatable age, I would definitely do it, just for the ease of staying in the UK and having start to finish fertility care. I only wish I'd found out about it sooner.
http://www.completefertility.co.uk/index.php
I realise, sadly, that I really, really am nearing the end of my time, but at least I feel less stressed now with my last 2-3 goes. I know what to do and that's half the battle. In mental preparation for a potentially childless future I've bought a book called 'Beyond Childlessness'. It's really helpful actually. I need to prepare. I don't want to crumble into a heap and end up with 40 house cats and a slum for a house. Let that not happen to me. Repeat, let that not happen to me.
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
Roller coaster
It seems my will to live has decided to take off to Australia. Not sure it's coming back, maybe just bought a one way ticket. Hence the lack of blogging. You see, I thought it was game over before I started, as per my last post. But then... Symptoms started to appear, exactly like those I had when I fell pregnant in March. Weird indigestion, cramps that were poking rather than dragging in sensation. And so I began to hope. It seemed that, in spite of the odds of having an IUI on the day of an LH surge as opposed to the recommended day after, I might have been lucky after all. Around day 8-9 post IUI I was convinced I was pregnant. So much so that I calculated a due date and trawled the 'trying to conceive' forums. Well, it's usually me that warns you about those, so I only have myself to blame.
I had all the symptoms. Fatigue, check. Constipation, check. Bloating, check. Weird poking pains, check. Just feeling pregnant, check. Veins like a road map on breasts, check. Overheating, check. So persuaded was I that I ignored the tell tale shivers on Day 11 and the odd, low blood sugar, shaky feeling that appeared momentarily. I now recognise this as progesterone plummet and it's a sure sign that I am about to see the red devil. I began to spot on Day 11 post IUI, but brown spotting, very light. I was actually pleased, believing that this was implantation bleeding because my new cycle length, post miscarriage, was 32 days so it couldn't possibly be my period. Perhaps the early ovulation on Day 9 of my cycle should have clued me into the fact that my body had reverted back to it's 24 day cycle. So, on Saturday 30th, on my 25th day, my period began. I was absolutely floored. Disappointment didn't cover it. I actually felt grief. Again. This roller coaster of up and down - am I pregnant, am I not pregnant - it is utterly stressful.
And so here I am. Exhausted, weary and skint. Nothing new there then. I can't do this again in August because the flights are too, too expensive last minute. Next time I will take the Clomid and I will do it in late September. As I am 44 in exactly one month's time, time is slipping away faster than a speeding bullet and I am feeling very panicked.
I am still worried about the Clomid. Will it thin my lining? If my ovulation is pushed to Day 12 of my cycle won't my luteal phase be too short if my period is due on Day 25? Should I take progesterone after the IUI? If so how much, when and for how long? I've made an appointment with my GP, but I'm sure he won't know the answers because he's not a gynaecologist. Copenhagen Fertility Centre gave me the Clomid, but are not , it seems, really going to advise me beyond that. The NHS won't refer me to a gynae. I feel stressed out, to be quite frank. Think I might just join my will to live in Australia.
However, let's see what my GP has to say tomorrow. Perhaps it's time to get a little bolshy and demand some sort of help. I may be over 40 and single, but I'm not asking for free assisted reproduction treatment, just some bloody help in asking what I should take to help myself. Surely after paying tax for umpteen years, and after having major gynaecological surgery, that's not too much to ask?
I had all the symptoms. Fatigue, check. Constipation, check. Bloating, check. Weird poking pains, check. Just feeling pregnant, check. Veins like a road map on breasts, check. Overheating, check. So persuaded was I that I ignored the tell tale shivers on Day 11 and the odd, low blood sugar, shaky feeling that appeared momentarily. I now recognise this as progesterone plummet and it's a sure sign that I am about to see the red devil. I began to spot on Day 11 post IUI, but brown spotting, very light. I was actually pleased, believing that this was implantation bleeding because my new cycle length, post miscarriage, was 32 days so it couldn't possibly be my period. Perhaps the early ovulation on Day 9 of my cycle should have clued me into the fact that my body had reverted back to it's 24 day cycle. So, on Saturday 30th, on my 25th day, my period began. I was absolutely floored. Disappointment didn't cover it. I actually felt grief. Again. This roller coaster of up and down - am I pregnant, am I not pregnant - it is utterly stressful.
And so here I am. Exhausted, weary and skint. Nothing new there then. I can't do this again in August because the flights are too, too expensive last minute. Next time I will take the Clomid and I will do it in late September. As I am 44 in exactly one month's time, time is slipping away faster than a speeding bullet and I am feeling very panicked.
I am still worried about the Clomid. Will it thin my lining? If my ovulation is pushed to Day 12 of my cycle won't my luteal phase be too short if my period is due on Day 25? Should I take progesterone after the IUI? If so how much, when and for how long? I've made an appointment with my GP, but I'm sure he won't know the answers because he's not a gynaecologist. Copenhagen Fertility Centre gave me the Clomid, but are not , it seems, really going to advise me beyond that. The NHS won't refer me to a gynae. I feel stressed out, to be quite frank. Think I might just join my will to live in Australia.
However, let's see what my GP has to say tomorrow. Perhaps it's time to get a little bolshy and demand some sort of help. I may be over 40 and single, but I'm not asking for free assisted reproduction treatment, just some bloody help in asking what I should take to help myself. Surely after paying tax for umpteen years, and after having major gynaecological surgery, that's not too much to ask?
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